The tragic death of my closest, most wonderful-of-all younger brother was certainly from “living in a fallen world,” and God touched me deep down inside in a way I’ve never been touched before.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve experienced “suffering in Christian service,” and I don’t want to count them - too painful. But yet again I was touched deep inside by God’s hand.

Then again, I still suffer to this day from “Bad Decisions” made some 40 years ago, and there again God’s hand touches me deep inside.

It’s all like surgery: excising cancerous growths. The growths get removed, but there is a deep scar left inside, too - or perhaps it’s a haunting memory, like Jacob’s limp after God touched his thigh. For the rest of his life with each step he took, he felt it.

Yet that’s what it should be like. And that’s when joy becomes a meaningful state (rather than a fleeting emotion). I believe it’s like the joy of victory after winning a most horrific battle.